where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
