I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize