i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
