Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
