she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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