I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
