The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
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I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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