Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
