I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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