How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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