Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Can I color on your dick again?
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i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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