why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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