WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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