How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
