My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize