I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
