You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
