im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
