just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize