There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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