a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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