was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize