Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
