worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
