is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
