i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
