Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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