you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
