Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
