OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Come see our sink grown plant.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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