She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
