dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
