My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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