We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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