Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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