No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize