Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Barsexuality is the new black.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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