You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
These tits shall not be calmed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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