I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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