I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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