Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just invented taco cereal.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
