How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
did you just send me my own nude
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
