dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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