Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
