put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I currently don't understand fingers.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
