My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
