Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
