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There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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