Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
