no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize