I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
