The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize