At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
