dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
