I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
