Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
