You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize