I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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