Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
