We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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