So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
